I never thought this moment would come after everything you did to me but here I am, writing you a thank you note. Yes, you’ve read that right—this is me being grateful for you being the shitty boyfriend you were.
Because if it hadn’t been for you, I would have never become the person I am today. If you hadn’t disrespected me, I would have never learned to respect myself. If you hadn’t loved me so poorly, I would have never learned the importance of self-love. Here is what you taught me.
1. That sometimes love isn’t enough
Before I met you, I was convinced that love was this omnipotent force which couldn’t be defeated but could defeat everything. I believed that when I loved someone enough, everything between us could work out for the best.
Nevertheless, our crappy relationship showed me otherwise. It showed me that my love wasn’t all-powerful and that it takes a lot more for a relationship to be a successful one.
You showed me that my love couldn’t save people and that it couldn’t force anyone to love me back. You taught me the importance of compatibility, respect and appreciation, which have to go hand in hand with love in order for two people to have their happy ending.
2. To stop giving endless second chances
Another thing I want to thank you for is teaching me that people don’t change, no matter how much you try to make them different. You taught me to stop justifying the ones who do me harm, to stop lying to myself that things would eventually be better and to always look the truth in the eye, no matter how painful or harsh it might be.
You helped me learn that if a man doesn’t treat you right from the start, he never will. That nobody will magically become the person I need them to be and to accept that my love can’t always make a man become the best possible version of himself, as much as I would like it to happen.
Most of all, you taught me that giving endless second chances is always in vain. That by constantly forgiving the one who keeps on hurting me, I am just giving him the green light to continue doing so.
3. That everything happens for a reason
After you and I broke things off for the last time, I wondered what I had done to deserve something painful like that. Why did I have to go through that heartbreak? Why did I have to lose you, when I did everything in my power to keep you?
And then it hit me—God always has perfect timing and He always has a plan. I realized that everything happens for a bigger cause and for a bigger reason we are usually not aware of.
Once I thought of our relationship realistically and once I started seeing you for who you really were, I understood that you leaving me wasn’t a curse—it was actually my biggest blessing. I realized that getting rid of you in time was actually the best thing that could ever happen to me.
4. What I don’t want from a relationship
Let’s face it—you never treated me right. You were an asshole who took me for granted, an immature mama’s boy who was never ready to grow up emotionally and a selfish jerk who never even thought of putting the effort into our relationship.
Nevertheless, if you hadn’t been like this, I would have never known how to recognize the signs of a toxic person the moment I laid my eyes on them. I wouldn’t have known what type of man I should run away from and what type of man I don’t want in my life.
If none of these things went on the way they did, I would have never known what not to want from a relationship and what love isn’t. If it wasn’t for you, I would have never known what it is that I should never settle for.
5. That I’m stronger than I thought
Maybe the most important thing you helped me understand was how intimidating and strong I actually am. How fierce and independent a woman I am and that there is nothing and nobody who can bring me down.
Your toxicity made me see that I am actually stronger than both of us knew. That I can live without someone I love and that I can do the right thing, even if my heart is against it, just because it is for my own good.