When you first start a relationship, you are at your best, your other half is at his best, and you really can’t tell what’s underneath. Not in your wildest dreams can you know that you’re with an insecure boyfriend because insecurities will surface later on when masks drop and real faces are revealed, when you are too involved to simply let it go.
Even when you get to know your boyfriend better, his insecurities won’t be so obvious to you. You probably had the perfect beginning with him. He showered you with attention. He openly admired your beauty and he might have even said that he doesn’t deserve someone like you.
He might not even be aware of how insecure he is, but you will, unfortunately, come to realize it soon enough. His behavior will start to shift and it will show just how low his confidence is. To be sure that this is the case with your boyfriend, here are some signs that will tell you whether your boyfriend is suffering from ‘insecure’ syndrome.
He will overreact every time he is unable to reach you
When he sends a text, he expects an immediate response. He expects you to answer his every call right away. He will call time and time again until you pick up, demanding an explanation as to why you didn’t answer when he called.
He will do this because, in his head, the reasons for you not responding are completely different from reality. So, he will immediately act frantically without even checking whether his assumptions are true.
He doesn’t understand that you have work; other obligations, friends, and family to talk to; and you don’t need to be at his beck and call every time he feels the need. This is probably the first red flag sign of insecure behavior that you will notice.
He is jealous of everything and everyone
There is nothing that screams insecure boyfriend as much as jealousy does. He won’t understand you having male friends, even if they were a part of your life long before you met him. He will be jealous if you are more accomplished in your career than he is. He will overreact to every sound of your phone buzzing. He will want to know your every move.
Jealousy can make you feel trapped in the relationship. While it may start off small, it can quickly turn into something much more destructive. Insecurities feed jealousy and, with time, it all becomes unbearable. This is something you need to watch out for the most.
He has almost no friends
His social life is nonexistent, to say the least. It’s not that he has a few good friends he likes spending time with. It’s more like he has one or none. He would much rather spend all of his time with you. And when you tell him that you would rather spend time alone or with your friends, he instantly becomes jealous.
That’s why he never understands your girl’s nights out or long talks with your best friend. He often joins in on get-togethers with your friends, even though you didn’t actually invite him. Of course, you like spending time with him, but he is being way too clingy.
He moves too fast
He probably told you he loves you after only a few dates. He told you he wants to marry you and named your future children just a few months into the relationship. This is his way of making sure you are his for eternity.
He is so scared to lose you that he is just rushing things without giving you a chance to see where you are truly at. You see, an insecure boyfriend will always have the urge to label your relationship and even exaggerate it because it’s the only way for him to feel safe in it.
He requires validation at all times
When someone is deeply insecure, they need constant proof of how worthy, loved, and valuable they are to someone. Soon enough, you will start to feel more like his cheerleader than his girlfriend.
He’ll want you to acknowledge every little thing he does. He will fish for compliments at all times and nothing you ever say will be enough. An insecure guy has a hard time believing that someone thinks so highly of him.
He often has major mood swings
You never know what mood he will be in. It can switch from carefree and happy to angry in the blink of an eye. One moment, he is all over you and the next, he acts like you don’t exist.
Also, he will make you feel like you are to blame for his state of mind because he doesn’t know why he is feeling that way. You will always be involved in some of his “problems” and he will try to make you feel like you are an active part of it, even though you have no idea what’s going on.
He will tell you the sweetest things today and he will spoil it with insults tomorrow. In a way, he will project his insecurities on you and consciously or innocuously make you as self-doubtful as he is.
He watches your every move
All your social media activity can’t pass without him noticing every single detail. He’ll even want to have access to all of your social media accounts and often browse through your phone.
Every time you go somewhere, he will expect a detailed report. And if you start stuttering (unintentionally) or showing any other clues of possible lying, he will go mad within seconds because he’ll think that you’re making things up.
An insecure boyfriend always thinks that you’re doing something behind his back (even though you’re not) and it’s really hard to convince him otherwise. He lives in a world of illusions and he’s totally unaware of it. This is all driven by his instability and it will only get worse.
He will never admit that he is insecure
He will never admit that he is jealous. He will never admit that he has done something wrong. You might call him out and indicate to him all the things that he’s doing wrong, but he’ll never be able to see them.
And even if he does, he will justify it all with the fact that he just loves you too much. Clearly, an insecure boyfriend doesn’t understand the consequences or the roots of his actions. In his mind, everything he does is linked with how much he loves you and as a result of him worrying about you (but not out of insecurity).
He plays the victim
Insecure men have a tendency to play the victim regarding their past relationships. He will tell you how his ex-girlfriend didn’t love him and how she treated him badly. He will exaggerate all of the details and even lie only to make it look worse for you to pity him.
There will always be some people and situations where he has been taken for granted and you’ll constantly have to reassure him that maybe things are not as he sees them. And when you start doing that, he will become even madder because you’re not letting him indulge in self-pity.
He overthinks everything
Whatever you do or say to him, he immediately deciphers it differently. He will misinterpret your every action and word because he always overthinks everything. So, he’ll accuse you that you wanted to insult him when your motives were the total opposite.
It is really hard to tell an insecure boyfriend that he is imagining things. If you do, he’ll think that you’re trying to accuse him for what you’ve done. He will always think that you’re playing with his emotions or doing something behind his back, and you will forever have to reassure him that this is not the case and that it is all in his head.
The saddest thing about it is that he is never going to get rid of his insecurities until he faces them and start working on himself.